And there was rain, it felt better, far better,
the droplets, the feeling of water being all around me,
the feeling of being victorious,
probably this is the reason why I am so strong in water,
this is the reason why water talks to me the way it does,
when I close my eyes in water, I feel more closer to anything than before,
but wait,
I had a heart to, sometimes it hurt, this time it hurt more,
but it won't stop me, nor will it make me blind,
like every other reason I knew,
I will think of one more, to move on towards the end.
The final 50th lap wasn't tough, it was 49th which made me drag.
I thought for a good one hour, got those heart broken feelings and then the feeling of desperation which was followed by my dreams of power.
But this time they all ended with one simple sentence, you never know what tomorrow holds for you, there is a word known as Hope and there is a feeling that life is too short to mourn about anything.
From now on I will motivate myself by showing my self this:-
The few seconds of you being stunned and zoned out are the best, they make you realize everything which is important in the end, LIFE.
You can either just breathe past it everyday or live like everyday is not just another day.
my final yearbook submission, I want to have it as memory for the rest of my life, so I can look back to it. So whenever I forget my theories, this can remind me.
'Life is not meant to be thought, its meant to be lived.'
For these past five years, I think to see what I learned,
No knowledge comes, only life lessons, which weren’t easy to
learn,
Which engineered my journey,
A journey, that changed me from a boy to a man.
And now when I look around me all I see is my seven greatest friends,
Each taught me something, which I must comprehend,
One taught me how to never give up being creative,
The other taught me the real meaning of Beatles,
The third, was like a brother in battle, a man who’s sorrows
I shared,
But the fourth, was a true brother, a true guru to us all,
And then there was the elderly, who gave us captain orders,
While the smallest guitarist, was to continue our fake
legacy,
And then there was this in heaven, which taught me the
greatest lesson,
the dream of a true human,
the mountain with the white wind and the sun beyond the end,
the droplets making their final decent of journey on you,
the thunder showing its mysterious shape and unpredictability,
the river valley far beyond your swim,
the trees waving with their calm drums,
the fatherly ocean showing it's vastness,
the fruit of life contributed by every living creature,
all making the melody of nature,
I only wish this melody is heard in my dream.
they said heaven came with its clear sky and un paralled beauty, they said there would be no worries once I am done over here, they said my mind would be free and my soul would live on, but then I closed my eyes, let the air gush through my body, put aside my worries and saw the clear beautiful sky above me, 'but what if I was happy right now', what use would heaven serve me then.
this one is mostly a day dream which I had, used characters from my own life to populate this fiction.
*this is a purely fictitious work. DO NOT BLAME ME*
The sister called the five friends, telling them that he might only have a week left to live. Ankit was detected with cancer in the mid of December. He had flown back for treatment and it was the beginning of january. three kemo-therapies and countless medicines later he was only left with one week. The sister which was more like a mother, wanted him to see his college best-ties one last time. she wanted him to have one last dinner with them and a last tequila shot, without caring about tomorrow.
The sister called the eldest, ankur and asked him to come over to India, she even agreed to pay the tickets for all of them. She even invited his last crush Jasmine and her friend over. Meanwhile to motivate them she took a picture of him and there other brother, jeff, the dog. She captioned it 'one makes me love life everyday and the other shows me how to fight it everyday'.
The seven rahul, ankur, ayush, manmeet, nihar, jasmine and shareefa arrived at the airport 2 days later. She picked them up from the airport and took them home. It was late night and the father was taking the dogs to visit ankit late in the night. This was the only time when ankit smiled without thinking about what was coming for him. Jeff and chester(the neighbors saint bernard) welcomed the guests and as usual jeff sniffed all of them. They went inside the house and settled down, they were to visit him tomm.
The next morning, the sister kept the cake which she was making him cut every morning and asked all the friends to buckle up. The nurse was rejuvenated to see all the friends and recognized all of them without them introducing themselves. Ankit talked to everyone about everything, he was an open kid who wanted to live the last moments to the fullest. Nurses adored him. They entered the room and as usual the boy was sleeping without his shirt on. They waited for him to open his eyes and as soon as he did, the words were 'wow'. They had the best laugh for the next few hours, they talked about everything. Caught up with how the pot heads were doing. Discussed about university, life in general and how everyone was looking forward to convocation.
They took off for dinner soon, only with a warning from the nurse to return within half an hour and to not drink any alcohol, her job was on the line. Ankit agreed. But in the brisk moment he had his own moment with jasmine, where he told her how much he liked her. He knew it wasn't going to go anywhere but he wanted to spit that out of his system before it was too late. The dinner was a classy college get together, no one could stop talking and then there were the tequila golgappas. Ankit took one, I mean he wasnt going to have a last get together without tequila in his system.
They went back to see the jeff and chester waiting for them in the hospital garden, it was already late. both parents were there too, and the mom invited the girls to come over and pray with her in the mosque(jama masjid) tomm. The mom was a muslim and so were the girls.
The next morning the girls and the mom got up early to go for the prayers. The prayer at 6 was one of the most enlightening experience for one of them. She kept it as one her memories to tell her grand children. The mother also took them to the hanuman mandir, the prayer had to come from both her and her husband, so she prayed on his behalf in the temple. And then she distributed food to the needy, the girls helped her out and loved it all. She got some of those kachaudi's with poori's for there breakfast.
The alarm clock, jeff, went up to wake all of them up. Which was followed by a heavy breakfast. And then one final visit to the hospital. The sister was driving them again. The boy was expecting all of them this time. He hugged all of them and told them to have a tequila shot in the convocation ceremony from his side. He took a moment with jasmine and kissed her one last good bye. The moment was emotional, only a teardrop to explain it perfectly.
Two weeks later the sister called ankur, only to tell him that he had left them 2 hours ago. They all came over to the desi house. Shareefa gave the news to Jasmine, she was in the library. She couldnt stop crying until she had hugged all the five friends. The friends wanted to go to india one more time, but they knew that the body would be cremated even before they reach.
The sister sent out one final gift to all the friends and posted two famous pictures.
One where jeff was right next to the bed, with a photo above the bed of him and ankit sleeping together, when they were really small. The photo had jeff sitting beside the bed not on it and it was captioned, 'he misses you the most, doesn't sleep on it anymore without you.'
the second photo, was in an album which she had titled, 'his last moments', the last photo of the album was from the cremation ground in haridwar, right next to the river. It was a picture of the burning fire and it was captioned, 'he always wanted to lay next to the water'.
The gifts were a silver mouth organ for each one of his friends, every one of it had a message from him, and his name written in very small letters on the top.
For ankur, in the front it said, to uncle, at the back, aap hamesha aashirwaad de deite rahiyega, always give your blessings to everyone.
nihar, front- niharika, back, u were the best brother.
rahul, front-chutku, back, phd.masters. rahul udasi, may u write a paper which changes the world.
manmeet- front- maggu back- the creative head
ayush front- gupta rani back- take care of everyone
shareefa front-shareefa back- hope love finds you
jasmine front- jaz back-listen to the music around you, I will always be there.
So when I saw death during the beginning of this term, I couldn't sleep for the next 2-3 days. Just didn't happen. On the 3rd day, I had a dream, which I later wrote down in the form of a poem. It helped me for the next few weeks and still helps me sometimes.
When i closed my eyes, an angel came to me, never had she visited before, she stroked my hair and said, life is not what you think it is, rather it is, what you understand out of it, death is not a sad end, rather is a memory of how you have lived, so for you to know me and be with me, remember the smile which was always there, and cherish every moment to come, for I will meet you on the other side where you and I will begin again.
probably my first post this term, but life has been busy teaching me lessons so can't complain. I'm confused whether should i talk about the things which have been happening in my life or the things which have been been going in my head for the past few hours. although i think both are inter-linked so i'll talk about both. So I saw things which made me realize the importance of life, it made me realize how my life is no different than everyone else. I saw my friend commit suicide, I saw her parents loose all sense of happiness and hope and I saw her sisters soul loose all sense of childhood. I saw a family being ripped apart forever, as saw myself experiencing emotions which I never thought I had. But after seeing deaths of two friends in less than 8 months, I got up and told myself there is too much in life to live for. I got up everyday and saw the epic rope swing, the remember to breathe add and the flying without wings to remind me how a true smile looked, how happiness changed everyone's life. Now all what I tell myself everyday is that their is too much in life to experience, too much in mother nature to see and learn from. There is too much my father, water, has to offer, for me too experience. I need to learn it myself before I can barely even tell anyone about it. And there is this girl who i lately met, shareefa. She had this spark. A pleasant, smothering spark of life. It's hard to explain, she had experienced something but all she needed was the beauty of life to show her the way, for that spark in her eye to actually light up. But today she told me that she was getting married in May. I wasn't shocked when I heard it, I was just sad. I don't know where my sadness came from, was it my in-ability to tell her that both of us were looking for the same thing, breath defying beauty of life, life without fear and only happiness. Or was it my conscious which was telling me that she knows she's taking a wrong decision, stop her before it becomes too late for her to realize it. I don't know some times only lyrics are good enough to sum it up, 'jo bhi mei kehna chahu, barbaad kare alfaaz mere.'
