poetic life of un-answered questions

so life is so poetic that it's hard to explain sometimes.

But sometimes you just end up asking so philosophical and poetic questions to yourself that it's hard to feel satisfied with your life.
One question which has bothered me forever, whenever i've gone philosophical is "What is the aim of human existence?" - i know it's a simple question but very complicated in terms of my perspective. And whoever who gives an answer such as survival and self happiness, is according to me the biggest dumb ass born on this planet. I believe their have been approximately a hundred billion humans born who have existed on this planet and surely their must have been some who would have thought about what I'm thinking. And probably they did achieve this answer but never shared it with the rest of the human existence. But the most intriguing thing is that, no religion no teaching has ever answered this question in the right manner. (Funny ain't it!)

But most of the mad questions come up to me, when I sit among people who are aged between 30-50 and then I see them doing things which probably are known as common work, job or celebration. For eg. to elaborate on this, i remember, the day when I was sitting in the hall where shuchi didi's wedding was going on and I was looking at bade mamaji and asking myself, how can he be happy? why is he happy? Is he happy for for what he has achieved in his life? because I was pretty sure he had not achieved much, so I was trying to understand his happiness, probably it was for his daughter, probably it was only for all the people who were up showing up for an event he had hosted. But it was really hard for me to define it, define the one simply question which everyone in that room could see and feel,"defining the reason for happiness?"
Some other situations are when I see small babies, I ask myself, why are we just breeding without a reason? I ask myself how exactly are we even a bit different from a virus?

And specially if i see they parents of the baby, then the most unusual question which pops up is, if the parent does not know the reason or the aim of this baby, then why cause his existence?
just for self happiness? so basically producing babies is like satisfying your own greed of happiness?

Another case is when I meet people who are working in offices. It's not their working or the type of work they do, which bothers me but the amount of time they invest is what bothers me. Specially after spending time in epson canada, i've learned that their exist human beings who do not work like humans but monotonous dogs. well, i've met people who have been developing software for over 25 years of their life. Although they are pretty genius and I do not doubt the way they write codes, but what bothers me is how can you dedicate so much time to just one activity? I know you like it, but isn't it usual for humans to hate things which are repeatedly fed to them? probably they just do it for their families. But then why have an existence where your own worth is not valued?

So their are many questions to be answered than to be lived.

but for now i'll head back home to do my pdeng assignment.

confused!

pata nahi yaar, aaj blog sai baat karne ki jaroorat lag rahi hai, fir sai. I want this moment to stay in my life long diary a.k.a blog.
Aaj bahut confused hu mai, and even want to write this whole blog in hindi mostly because i beleive that confusion is more profoundly expressed and interpreted in Hindi. right now i'm listening to the ek mohabat(taj anthem), ghar ki bhi yaad aa rahi hai. But aaj apsooas ho raha hai, ki mere mid-terms ache nahi hue hai, specially economics, jissme i'm sure to fail. par usse bhi badi problem hai ki i'm not able to decide ki wheather i should go into the second job posting and wait for a good job or just take the currently available ottawa job. I feel really bad that I didn't even get an offer and only got ranked from a studpid cloackware firm in ottawa. I really put in all what i had for some of the interveiws, specially for the RIM interveiws, but not even a rank seriously up sets me. My parents on the other hand as usualy want me to do the opposite, they want me to take the ottawa job and then concentrate on my finals, which i do understand in a way but i feel some-how i can get a better job. What i fail to understand is that is it frustation anger or emotions which make me think like this, which mostly is caused by devasheesh's three offers and his ability to finish the eco parper 15 min earlier than the assigned the time.
I need real guidance from you blog, I seriously want to take the risk but don't know if it will result me in failing 1B. Sometimes i really fail to understand my boundaries, i today is one of those tadays... I guess....